March 16th

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, my wrist hurts. I do not know what is wrong with it, I do know it hurts to lift it, move it, twist it and type. So please forgive me if this is brief. I am still at work, and still trying to find something to do to keep me busy. I have had a bad week this week. I just can not seem to find the get up and go to keep the business runnig smoothly. My partner works hard and keeps the books in order, but he himself has not been well and between us we seem to have dropped the ball this week. Still could be worse I suppose.
Father in laws house has been sorted through and should be cleared by next week. Judes has been amazing, working and doing the house and trying to keep me and our son and house in order all at once. She is amazing. I have started working on our house and trying to get things in order and sorted, I think we are gonna have a massive spring clean/redecorate experiance. I am looking forward to it and yet not looking forward to it. Still it will be nice once finished.
Have to go to Essex next weekend for my mums birthday, she is 50. I still have no idea what to get her, think i will go to bodyshop and have a look around.
I am feeling down at the moment, and sleep is fitfull at best, but I have been worse. I am considering going back onto AD's but I am not sure yet. I have that usual male complex of not admitting when things have gone to far, but even taking that into consideration I dont think the time is right to go back onto tablets.

right i got to go, the wrist is killing me, hope all is well in cyber land

March 9th------------My Birthday

Ok I am beginning to hate blog world, yet again I have spent a while writing a piece for my blog, being honest and truthful, and yet again it has failed to publish and wipe out my work. In future I am going to compose this in word and then copy and paste across.
Well today is my birthday, I am 29. I am sat at work listening to KT Tunstal, a mellow vibe and quite relaxing. I have to go to a meeting tonight and I have work all day. So Judes and I went out yesterday to celebrate my birthday. It was a good day and a welcome break from the whirlwind that is our lives. We both needed some time out I think and the relaxing and enjoyable day gave us both a nice break.
Judes took me a cafe we used to visit when I first moved up here, then onto LUSH a lovely parlour in Romiley. Judes had a manicure and I had a facial, manicure and pedicure. I love being pampered and enjoyed the time spent there immensely. The staff are great as well. We then went onto Affleck’s palace in Manchester and had a wander around the shops. I like Affleck’s palace lots of people who are not scarred to be themselves and look and say what they feel. After that we went on to the Lowry and the outlet village, there is a virgin xs there and I stocked up on some new cd's.
I am still struggling with lots of things in my life, but yesterday they did not encroach on my time. I had a great day with a great woman. A moment of clarity I suppose you could call it. A sudden understanding of what life is supposed to be about and how lucky I am. It was great.
Judes is still doing well, we all miss her dad. Judes must miss him most and I can only listen to her as she talks about him. I can not understand what her loss must feel like. I wish I could shoulder all her problems and let her live car free, but unfortunately life does not work like that. So I listen and hold her when I can and tell her how much I care, and I hope this is enough to help her, however woefully inadequate I feel doing it.
I have to go to Essex over the next couple of weeks, a return to my home I suppose. It no longer feels like home now though and every time I return I am hit by a great sadness. I do miss it though when I am not there, confusing huh?
Anyhow I must get on with some work, I hope you are all well in cyber land.