Sunday night... and all is not well

Having spent my life on ups and downs...I know the warning signs... tonight a massive one went off like a flashbulb in front of my face... in fact they have been going off subtly for over a month... but tonight's was a biggy...

It stems from a friend.. I allowed myself to get hurt once again... its not her fault and its not mine.. but hurt all the same.. I knew it was coming.. yet I still had to make sure that door was slammed on my face... so here I am in pain... once again... the world spiralling once again.... the darkness swallowing my life...

OK lets be rational its not just because of said friend... its just that's the freshest and most painful for now... there has lots of things been going on, divorce, work, accommodation etc... I allowed something to distract me and to help me through it... especially with the op and my health as it is... I should have known better... because when it went wrong, I had done it again and put all my eggs in one basket as far as coping mechanisms go.... and whoosh......... there they went...

Smiles, for once it doesn't scare me.... and that is what scares me... I am not frightened.... just accepting....

Slipping....

Having some bad times....

Im slipping.......

but I will be strong.....

Going to hospital tomorrow... see you all soon...

October 3rd 2008

hello, just stopping by to let people know I am OK... I am still posting on my other blog www.dietplate.blogspot.com so check it out there....

There is only three rules to life....

Paradox- Life is a mystery, don't waste time trying to work it out.

Humour- Keep your sense of humour, especially about yourself, it will give you strength beyond measure.

Change- Everything in life changes.

(Dan Millman, Way of the Peaceful Warrior)

Stay safe people