March 12th
Hi folks. How are you all? Well after yesterdays posting, (of mammoth and im sure to most of you, boring information) I am going to keep this one quite light. Well not as long I suppose is a better way of putting it.
Today has been an interesting day, I have been high and elated, and down so low, I would have been more scarred for want of a blade. (Have you ever tried finding a blade or pair of scisors in a museum?) I went today to the Manchester Museum, one of my sons favourite places to go. I dropped him and quint of there and then went on to the nokia repair center to get my phone fixed. After an hour or so I found the center to discover it was closed. This was frustrating, and just a glimmer of my temper began to show as I realised I was getting angrier I decided to take off before doing something stupid. Drove back to the Museum and parked up. Getting out the car and walking into the museum was agony. My legs and lower back seem to alternate from shooting pains to numbness. I found quint and son and then trapsed round the museum for 20 mins in sheer agony. I gave up in the end and had a shake at the museum cafe and went back to the car. The family caught up later.
I was furious, I dont know why, perhaps the pain or perhaps the feeling of uselessness that I endured whilst walking around. Once back to the car I tried some relaxation stuff and breathing techniques. To no avail. Family caught up and we headed off home. This is now 3 hours ago, I am still in a temper and still feel useless. I dont know how long this will last far. I want to cut, I want to draw blood, to feel the pain and see the blood. I need to. I need to feel. Tho tonight, I wont, again I dont know why, I just know deep down I wont. Perhaps its because my son is around, I honestly dont know. If I work it out tho, they may be hope.
Hope this finds you all well.
PS. The tablets still aint working.
Today has been an interesting day, I have been high and elated, and down so low, I would have been more scarred for want of a blade. (Have you ever tried finding a blade or pair of scisors in a museum?) I went today to the Manchester Museum, one of my sons favourite places to go. I dropped him and quint of there and then went on to the nokia repair center to get my phone fixed. After an hour or so I found the center to discover it was closed. This was frustrating, and just a glimmer of my temper began to show as I realised I was getting angrier I decided to take off before doing something stupid. Drove back to the Museum and parked up. Getting out the car and walking into the museum was agony. My legs and lower back seem to alternate from shooting pains to numbness. I found quint and son and then trapsed round the museum for 20 mins in sheer agony. I gave up in the end and had a shake at the museum cafe and went back to the car. The family caught up later.
I was furious, I dont know why, perhaps the pain or perhaps the feeling of uselessness that I endured whilst walking around. Once back to the car I tried some relaxation stuff and breathing techniques. To no avail. Family caught up and we headed off home. This is now 3 hours ago, I am still in a temper and still feel useless. I dont know how long this will last far. I want to cut, I want to draw blood, to feel the pain and see the blood. I need to. I need to feel. Tho tonight, I wont, again I dont know why, I just know deep down I wont. Perhaps its because my son is around, I honestly dont know. If I work it out tho, they may be hope.
Hope this finds you all well.
PS. The tablets still aint working.
posted by GreenCastle at 19:15
2 Comments:
sorry that You are feeling this way. Please know that we are sending our thoughts of healing and warmth to your heart,soul and physical pain.
be well and safe.. keep fighting and don't get down about the things that cause you to fall..
luv
Thank you
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